we're chasing vodka with high fives
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
