My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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