Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Who wears a wallet chain?!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
