You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize