You don't have asthma, your pregnant
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
