just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
