the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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