that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
