smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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