In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
