Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I want a musical about memes.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
