from now on my penis is your penis
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
