I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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