let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
