I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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