How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
you never un-have a 4some
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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