so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
