i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
