You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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