Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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