I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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