Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
We got so high we made milksteak
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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