I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
