next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
