If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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