I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
