And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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