Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
