I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
