Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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