Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
