I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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