i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
