The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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