You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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