I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
