this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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