Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
