i just google imaged poop.
Welp...herpes.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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