Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
