I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
