Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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