Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
