They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
