i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
