If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
