yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
