Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.

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(917): View more from New York City

It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(339): View more from Massachusetts

i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall

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(585): View more from New York

I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?

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(804): View more from Virginia

Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.

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(585): View more from New York

I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days

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