Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
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I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
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I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.