I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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