Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize