I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
