i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize