Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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