margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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