Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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