no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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