Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize