they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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