shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
